!!! (Chk Chk Chk)
As If
Warp Records
Dance punk is an impossible genre. It simply should not exist, much the same way a smoothie should not be made of meat, or a strawberry be barbecued. Yet here we are, and there they are, the delightful !!! or βChk Chk Chkβ, a band whose name has garnered more attention than their music, and whose music has full-throttled in a frenzied round-a-bout for so long that people either ignore them or pray that, after all these years, they will loop themselves by centrifugal momentum to some semblance of destination.
βDanceβ music in its oversized-t-shirt looseness can label anything with a bumpinβ and a thumpinβ and a groove β but itβs also defined largely by impetus. Itβs hard to get people dancing β and I mean dancing in the synchronized arm-leg contortion sense, not the up-down-up-down Mussolini fist-pump sense β without giving them, as NWA so succinctly put it βsomething 2 dance 2β.
Punk, by definition, is associated with subcultures β the dejected, the disenfranchised, the instinctual rapscallions. Dance, especially in contemporary context, is not. But maybe Iβm ignoring the cordless connection; both punk and dance, ideology aside, rely on pillars of speed, energy and freedom as building materials. So, dance punk it is. And as perhaps the sole active ambassadors of this genre, !!! have provided us with a carnival of self-aware sound that ambles playfully across the kingβs court, through the dining hall and onto the executionerβs block in no less than 11 tracks.
Opener βAll U Writersβ taunts, βget out your pencils and writeβ over syncopated vocal truncations and a dubbed-groove that occasionally falls to the back, letting out splintered lyrics about Beatles songs and smooching in Chevrolets. It closes pleasingly with a looped guitar sample and a revisiting of all previous elements, mixing them blissfully into a crockpot of bounce and slide. This is perfectly fine. A-Okay. Catchy, even. But thereβs one nagging cold-sore, and my tongue kept feeling it all throughout As If. I hate to call it βvalueβ, so maybe something less ambiguous: cohesion. Is this album supposed to be disposable 90s house-pop revivalism? And if so, why the half-assed attempts at urbanite cynicism on βTil The Money Runs Outβ and βBam Cityβ. Going full-assed, or even no-assed, wouldβve been more ambitious and admirable.
The inane thumping on βSick Ass Moonβ and farcical Stevie-Wonder imitation on βFreedom! β15β β which retains about 0.1% of the funk from the song its mimicking β begin to dispel any conjured excuses. The milk isnβt blue, but definitely soured, and this record is the litmus test to prove it. Packaged as a Lonely Island-esque piece of satire, As If begins to enter the realm of art. As it stands β or sits β vapidity is championed, as ever.
βOooβ with its saccharine, check-catching hook and βI Feel So Free (Citation Needed)β with its hard-hitting stream-of-consciousness monologue are the album highlights. At one point during the latterβs 8 minutes, Nic Offerβ down-pitched voice jokingly booms βI feel like thereβs just a shower of Grammys in hereβ¦Iβm tripping onβ¦splashing in puddles of Grammysβ
The three trope-laden non-entities βEvery Little Bit Countsβ (which poorly imitates what βof Montrealβ have been doing for decades), βAll The Wayβ (second-rate, dubby exoticism), and βFunk (I Got This)β (100% polyester funk), make one seriously question the need for 11 songs when a 5 track EP wouldβve surely sufficed.
The warm, head-bobbing sincerity of βLucy Mongooseyβ gives a glimpse of the kind of album !!! couldβve and perhaps shouldβve made β emotionally resonant without trying to be the next big party anthem playlist.
As If is silly music for the kind of dilettante who enjoys having difficulty googling things, a visage of stunted growth for the elitist, and a dispassionate party album for the radio-headed yuppie whose expectations are so low to begin with that they probably find downtown apartment pricing reasonable.
Much can be said of !!!, but one fact will (at least for now) remain: Gang of Four and LCD Soundsystem they are not. No need to shoot the four horsemen a text; if As If is any indication of lifespan, dance punk is already asleep in its rocking chair.
β Nicholas Fazio
SPILL ALBUM REVIEW: !!! (CHK CHK CHK) – AS IF
Nicholas Fazio